Sadida recently sent me an early copy of his new album, Chaotic Beauty, so I could listen and write something to help promote the release. I have known and worked with Sadida for a long time. We have collaborated countless times, including making a full duo album together. We are both members of TB3, The Big 3, along with Subcon. All three of us are also part of the larger Shark Brothers collective of rappers, producers, and DJs.
I also appear with Subcon on “Darkness Consume,” so I am obviously biased. I am not approaching this like a neutral critic. I am writing as a friend, collaborator, and longtime listener who genuinely likes the album.
Chaotic Beauty feels like one of the clearest representations of Sadida as both a person and an artist. The album is about finding something worthwhile inside everything that can wear a person down. Work, money, addiction, distrust, regret, aging, family responsibilities, and the need to keep creating all appear throughout the project. Sadida never acts like he has defeated the chaos. The beauty comes from what he continues to create with it.
Finding Beauty Inside the Damage: “Find the Beauty”
The album cover introduces that idea before the music begins. Skulls are divided and reconstructed between red roses and white floral outlines. Death and beauty occupy the same image without either one hiding the other.
Produced by Sadida, “Find the Beauty” acts as the album’s main statement. The chorus encourages people to keep searching for something positive when life becomes chaotic and reminds us that pressure is what creates diamonds. Sadida also admits that he has contributed to some of his own problems. He calls himself a “chaos agent” and reflects on reckless behavior, wasted time, pain, and the feeling that death is always waiting somewhere ahead.
At the same time, he describes scar tissue guiding every stroke of his brush. That is what the song is really about. Sadida cannot change everything that happened, but he can decide what he creates from it. When he says that inspiring even one person would allow him to say he made it, he establishes a definition of success that goes beyond money, numbers, or recognition.
The Price of Survival: “Jar of Greed”
“Jar of Greed,” produced by Groove and featuring Dee, turns toward the pressure money places on everyday life. Dee sings the chorus, giving the song a melodic center while emphasizing how money can motivate people to work and survive, but can also push them toward selfish and destructive behavior.
Sadida’s first verse captures the daily grind. The alarm goes off too early, the job drains more energy than the paycheck seems to justify, and energy drinks and weed help him make it through the week. The second verse takes the idea further by showing what greed does to loyalty, friendship, empathy, and trust.
The song is not simply saying that money is evil. It is about what scarcity and desperation can turn people into when survival becomes the main concern. That conflict appears throughout the album because Sadida has a family and responsibilities, but the same job that supports his life also takes time and energy away from his art.
Knives Behind Every Smile: “Obsidian Blades”
“Obsidian Blades,” produced by Donny G, focuses on betrayal and the damage it leaves behind. The knives and backstabbing imagery are direct, but the deeper subject is what happens after someone has been betrayed enough times that distrust becomes automatic.
Sadida describes living in a constant defensive position. He expects people to turn against him once he is no longer useful, so he keeps his walls high and prepares for the next attack. The repeated statement that he is “not going out like that” sounds aggressive, but it also shows how exhausting it can be to remain guarded all the time.
The blades are not only weapons. They represent the sharpness a person develops after being cut too many times.
Letting the Darkness Consume: “Darkness Consume”
“Darkness Consume,” produced by BoFaat and featuring Subcon and Fubar, takes the album into its darkest psychological territory. Sadida mixes demonic imagery with ordinary pressures like the day job, starving artists, artificial intelligence, and the fear of people becoming replaceable.
Sadida sent us the concept, chorus, and his recorded verse. Subcon and I then created our own approaches while staying connected to the main idea. The three verses explore different versions of what it means to stop resisting the darker parts of yourself.
My verse approaches the subject through psychological horror, but the strength of the song comes from the way all three artists expand Sadida’s original concept rather than simply adding unrelated guest appearances. Each of us enters the same darkness through a different door.
That chemistry comes naturally because Sadida, Subcon, and I have worked together many times through TB3, Shark Brothers, and other collaborations. Still, the song gives each artist enough space to create a separate experience.
Turning Doubt into Fuel: “Underestimated”
“Underestimated,” also produced by Donny G, directs Sadida’s anger toward the people who dismissed him. He talks about shrinking his circle, ignoring fake support, and turning disrespect into motivation.
Underneath the aggression is a frustration many independent artists understand. People often judge music based on popularity, money, follower counts, or who an artist knows before they seriously listen to the work. Sadida is not asking those people to reconsider. He is saying that their approval is no longer necessary.
The song connects with “Obsidian Blades” through its distrust of snakes and unreliable allies, but it feels less defensive. Sadida is no longer only protecting himself from doubt. He is using it as fuel.
Where Inspiration Comes From: “What It Is”
“What It Is,” produced by The 6th Floor Show, gives the album some room to breathe. Sadida spends the song trying to explain where his inspiration comes from and considers anxiety, politics, suffering, drugs, lack of sleep, the state of music, his family, and even tacos he refuses to share.
The answer is basically everything.
Sadida’s music comes from the way he processes his life. The difficult moments become songs, but so do the funny and ordinary ones. The humor is important because it reminds the listener that Sadida is not only angry, anxious, or damaged. He is also self-aware and able to laugh at himself.
Weathering What Cannot Be Changed: “Weather the Storm”
“Weather the Storm,” produced by L.O.B., begins moving the album toward a more reflective place. Sadida looks back at his mistakes and thinks about what he might change, but he also recognizes that changing the past would change the person he became.
He does not romanticize his decisions. He admits that he may have been the bad guy in someone else’s story and reflects on aging, neglected health, missed opportunities, and the need to make better choices. At the same time, he remains grateful to be alive, free, and present for his children.
The album changes emotionally as it continues, but it is not a simple journey from darkness into happiness. It begins by asking the listener to find beauty, moves through greed, betrayal, anger, and psychological horror, then gradually becomes more accepting and reflective. The chaos does not disappear. Sadida simply begins to understand it better.
Feeling Most Alive Underground: “Feel Most Alive”
“Feel Most Alive,” produced by BoFaat and featuring 40-40, presents the underground as more than a style of hip-hop. It is the place where the artists feel honest, present, and fully themselves.
40-40 is the duo of L.E.O., which stands for Love Equals Omnipotence, and Last Measure. Their appearances expand the song’s central idea rather than feeling like unrelated guest verses.
Sadida describes music as both confession and survival. He acknowledges his imperfections, his internal battles, and the fact that the person in the mirror may be his greatest enemy. That connects the song to “Darkness Consume,” but he sounds more accepting here. The mirror still shows his flaws, but he is learning to recognize them as part of himself.
The Dream After the Shift Ends: “Still a Dreamer”
“Still a Dreamer,” produced by L.O.B., may be the clearest explanation of why Sadida continues making music. The day job drains him, writing restores him, and recording gives him temporary peace before the process begins again.
Music is not presented as a casual hobby or only as a route toward recognition. It is something he needs. Writing keeps his mind occupied, gives him an escape, and fills the space where darkness might otherwise settle.
The song also captures the reality of being an adult artist with responsibilities. Sadida has a family to support and cannot ignore work, bills, or the people who depend on him. The dream has to survive after the shift ends and after exhaustion has already set in. He does not continue because success is guaranteed. He continues because quitting would mean losing an important part of himself.
Returning Home: “Border Town”
“Border Town,” produced by J Clef, closes the album by bringing everything back to El Paso, Texas, also known as EPT and the 915. Sadida mixes English and Spanish while describing the city through money, drugs, faith, violence, weather, food, struggle, and pride.
El Paso is not presented as perfect. Sadida talks about low wages, poverty, hustling, addiction, and the need to stay alert. At the same time, he clearly loves where he comes from. References to Franklin Mountain, Mexico, and Chico’s Tacos make the song feel personal and specific.
Ending with “Border Town” adds context to the rest of the album. Sadida’s chaos did not develop in isolation. It was shaped by a particular city, culture, and economic environment. The album begins by asking the listener to find beauty inside chaos. It ends by showing the place where Sadida learned how to do it.
Final Thoughts
Musically, Chaotic Beauty is mostly rooted in boom bap, but it also moves through dark, soulful, aggressive, and reflective production. The beats come from Sadida, Groove, Donny G, BoFaat, The 6th Floor Show, L.O.B., and J Clef. Even with several different producers, the album still feels cohesive. The songs have their own personalities, but none of them sound like they belong on a completely different project. The vocals are clear and forceful throughout.
The guest appearances also feel purposeful. Dee brings a melodic element to “Jar of Greed.” Subcon and Fubar explore different sides of the darkness on “Darkness Consume.” L.E.O. and Last Measure expand the main idea behind “Feel Most Alive.”
Several familiar Sadida themes appear throughout the album, including betrayal, darkness, money, distrust, survival, and the struggle to keep creating. People who already know his music will recognize those subjects. Instead of feeling like unrelated songs, those recurring themes help the album feel connected. Sadida looks at the same pressures from different angles and shows how they affect his work, relationships, family life, health, and creativity.
What I like most about Chaotic Beauty is that it sounds like Sadida. The anger sounds like him. The humor sounds like him. The distrust, anxiety, pride, love for his family, exhaustion from work, and need to keep making music all feel honest. This album is about taking the parts of life that wear a person down and trying to make something useful from them. It does not pretend that pain automatically becomes meaningful. It does not claim that every struggle eventually turns into something beautiful. Sadida still has to search for that beauty.
That search is what gives the album its meaning.
